Pre-menstrual Agony

The opening of the year 2013 is a promising year for me. I smell already the success, I smell the good life. I am enthusiastic of our coming perfume crafts with my sister Maya and my high school friend Cristy. I am full of hopes and dreams, my passion is firing up, my desire is boiling and so for my sister and my friend too. We are both having positive attitude, and we help each other. The months ahead is shining bright for us. Month of January is full of enthusiastic ideas and research. My friend and I exchange information that we find in the internet. We are brave and full of dreams. It seems like no one can ruin my mood.

But then suddenly, without knowing, my mood changes dramatically. It started the 4th week of January, full moon, when I felt deep anger inside. The anger that I couldn't explain. The anger that deep rooted from the past without basis, or if there are, it's been uninteresting to other part or subconciously forgotten event. I couldn't see any goodness, the clouds are dark. I feel so gloomy then.

I think,  every women feel the same as I do or experience the feeling as I do.  If not exactly the same experience, but I think every women can relate how I feel. This is the sudden change of mood either before or during menstruation.

But for me, my pre-menstrual cycle is an agony. I experience headache and I become moody. My past memories resurface and anger follow. It is like a volcano eruption that is so damaging. Very damaging. When person doesn't know me well nothing can be understood the why I act. Epecially of my attitude during pre-menstrual period. I feel so irritable and very hateful. When I have my pre-menstrual coming I feel like a devilish in me. It hurts to the person that I am displacing my anger. Because I fully displacing it without thinking what I am saying.  It hurts me too after all because I can not control.

I learned that this is due to gradual influx of Sodium (Na) ion within the cells of our body that depolarize when menstruation is coming. It gives potential event of sensation that changes the cell's activity.