An Inspiration from Heaven

I am so curious of how does it feel to become a mother? I am not a mother yet. I don’t know the feelings of it. But I know the feeling of joy and irritations surrounded with kids, because I was surrounded with my nephews and nieces when I was in the Philippines. I saw mothers having mix emotions to their children. I am hoping to experience the inspiration they give.

 I struggled with my personal career, love, and family life in consecutive years. My life became lack of meaning. I have a self-centered life. I became happy go lucky, in contrary; which is sometimes good in terms of stress released. But I am happy when my niece born and she became my new inspiration, that she is giving unique impact into my life.

Way back when my sister got pregnant I have been very excited. Sometimes I got dream that the baby was born. By the time she was born last November 02, 2008, everyone in the family was very happy and excited including me. I have lots of nieces from my sisters and they are all very special into my heart.

My sister gave birth to a caesarian baby, at the Davao Mission Hospital Philippines around 3:00 or 4:00pm of November 02, 2008. My mother and I went to the hospital to take good care of my sister. When I got there at the hospital, the baby was in the nursery section. I asked the nurse if I could see her. The nurse was so friendly and approachable that she allows me to see the baby from the glass window of the nursery section. I told myself I couldn’t wait to hold and carry her into my arms. The baby was inside the nursery 24 to 48 hours so I needed to be patience.

The nurse took the baby besides my sister, where she laid on her bed. I am always there to look at and wait for the nurse instructions. My sister needs a rest. Every morning after the nurse taking a bath of the baby, she handed me the baby and instructed me to bring the baby outside to take sunlight. Without hesitation I did what the nurse have told me. I was so excited to take the baby outside; at last I can carry her.

The hospital is a 6^th floor only, and the last floor is the rooftop. From the 5^th floor where we are stayed, I carried my niece going to the rooftop by stairs of the hospital so she can get enough sunlight from early sunrise. When we got there and enjoying the fresh sunlight, I stared at her. I was caught by that moment. This is the moment, the moment that redefine me as an Aunt. I never have such an opportunity like carrying my newborn niece. I never experienced such an excitement in my life. It was a unique excitement.

 I watched her so closely. She is so precious, adorable, and innocent like pure white soft cotton and very light. Like white clouds and like a flickering white light in the middle of the dark or a white balloon floating into the air. So innocent that she doesn’t know what is happening around her. The baby was sleeping. She has soft lips, pinkish skin very soft to touch. She was covered with white clean soft cotton fabric with pink lining. Smile on her face seems the angels playing with her. Her breathing sounds like a soft music. Her smell, lift my spirit up, such indescribable feeling. Her smell is the best ever that I can imagine. She tastes like a new life, a new beginning.

We are on the rooftop at that time. No body is there except both of us. I can hear the noise of the jeep from the highway. But I continue watching her while she is sleeping. She is a new life for me when I saw her. Now I experienced being like a mother for a moment. Having an angel in your arms was a wonderful experience. I appreciate more the beauty of life.

I value life more than ever before because I know, I am not here forever. I cared more especially to my niece that is so helpless. She is my new guide and my new inspiration to pursue and value life. Since, that moment, like a moment of enlightenment. I become a better individual. I become more mature and more aware of others need. There are lives outside our individual’s life that really need us.

And here I am, continue dreaming for the good life that someday I could share to her. This gives me strength that an inspiration from heaven will touch in an unexpected and unconventional way.  Be willing to accept such special gift.

Finding meaning and purpose in Life

I am a big believer that living life is being happy. High school and college days were so much fun. Only assignments are my responsibility. I always love to learn, and I find joy in school. After off from college, I start to face the real world of my own. My college friends are on their different world too. I left aloof and hiding in a cocoon like a larva. I start to find the real meaning and purpose of life.

On my instinct after off from college, there’s one thing I want to do. Is to find this purpose and meaning in life. Sometimes my life was a deep hollow, that there’s something is lacking. I tried to read self help or inspirational books hoping I could find an answer. Then on, that was the start of the love of reading.

Life hasn’t always been easy and it’s challenging. I remember when I was twelve years old. My mom told me to be independent; I was afraid to pass or crossed the road. I was afraid that cars would hit me. This word from her has settled in my mind and heart. In every road I take I will be independent from that moment. Including the real road of life.

Today, or in this moment of my life, I am on my way of doing my purpose. I know it is not easy, but all I know is it’s not about me, but it is about “HIM”. Wherever I am, wherever I will go, I know I am not alone and I am not the only one, taking this journey for I am guided with the Holy Divine.

I am in different place; a place out of my total comfort zone, if I don’t know how to adjust I will be insane. “ADJUST”, I remember this word from my mom last 2007 or 2008. This is the second word from my mother that has deep impact for me, that if I wouldn’t apply I couldn’t stand in this life.

God chooses us to be born in this world for we have a mission to be accomplish, and we are lucky that we are alive. Our life has already planned, All we need is to find these mysterious purpose and meaning in life.

“Destruction”, from the movie Eat Love and Pray, is a gift or a portal to a new beginning. I have been that phase and I now find my purpose and meaning in life. And I am happy to do “HIS’ will, for I know he will not leave me. That everything will fall into place and fall in “HIS” time. All I Have to do is to be happy. Have you find your meaning and purpose?

Filipino: We are what we Eat

When I was in the Philippines, I don't care what kind of food I ate; Filipino, Italian, and Japanese. The food that I ate depends on my taste of that day. Mostly of course is our Filipino dish. Like sinugba, kinilaw, adobo, steam okra with vinegar, pansit and nilagang manok. And all kinds of native dish such as bulad, ginamos, and papait. As they say, what you eat is who you are.

 I have just observed from the previous months, from my friends here on Maui. They have Filipino ancestors. One has 50% and the other one has 25% Filipino by blood. Even they don’t raise and born neither in the Philippines nor visit the Country but they still have Filipino in their blood. I say this because the way they ate. They also longed the steam half cooked okra with vinegar in which maybe how their Filipino ancestors prepare food those times. They sometimes cook nilagang manok (chicken soup with papaya) as what their ancestor taught them. As my friend told me today she sometimes cooks and eats the Filipino dishes. And she is 25% Filipino by blood.

I hope we will value our food and our culture and teach our new generations to embrace who they are and be proud of it. When we are out of the country, we're not only represent ourselves as individual but we represent our country as a whole. And one of this is the way we eat.