An Inspiration from Heaven

I am so curious of how does it feel to become a mother? I am not a mother yet. I don’t know the feelings of it. But I know the feeling of joy and irritations surrounded with kids, because I was surrounded with my nephews and nieces when I was in the Philippines. I saw mothers having mix emotions to their children. I am hoping to experience the inspiration they give.

 I struggled with my personal career, love, and family life in consecutive years. My life became lack of meaning. I have a self-centered life. I became happy go lucky, in contrary; which is sometimes good in terms of stress released. But I am happy when my niece born and she became my new inspiration, that she is giving unique impact into my life.

Way back when my sister got pregnant I have been very excited. Sometimes I got dream that the baby was born. By the time she was born last November 02, 2008, everyone in the family was very happy and excited including me. I have lots of nieces from my sisters and they are all very special into my heart.

My sister gave birth to a caesarian baby, at the Davao Mission Hospital Philippines around 3:00 or 4:00pm of November 02, 2008. My mother and I went to the hospital to take good care of my sister. When I got there at the hospital, the baby was in the nursery section. I asked the nurse if I could see her. The nurse was so friendly and approachable that she allows me to see the baby from the glass window of the nursery section. I told myself I couldn’t wait to hold and carry her into my arms. The baby was inside the nursery 24 to 48 hours so I needed to be patience.

The nurse took the baby besides my sister, where she laid on her bed. I am always there to look at and wait for the nurse instructions. My sister needs a rest. Every morning after the nurse taking a bath of the baby, she handed me the baby and instructed me to bring the baby outside to take sunlight. Without hesitation I did what the nurse have told me. I was so excited to take the baby outside; at last I can carry her.

The hospital is a 6^th floor only, and the last floor is the rooftop. From the 5^th floor where we are stayed, I carried my niece going to the rooftop by stairs of the hospital so she can get enough sunlight from early sunrise. When we got there and enjoying the fresh sunlight, I stared at her. I was caught by that moment. This is the moment, the moment that redefine me as an Aunt. I never have such an opportunity like carrying my newborn niece. I never experienced such an excitement in my life. It was a unique excitement.

 I watched her so closely. She is so precious, adorable, and innocent like pure white soft cotton and very light. Like white clouds and like a flickering white light in the middle of the dark or a white balloon floating into the air. So innocent that she doesn’t know what is happening around her. The baby was sleeping. She has soft lips, pinkish skin very soft to touch. She was covered with white clean soft cotton fabric with pink lining. Smile on her face seems the angels playing with her. Her breathing sounds like a soft music. Her smell, lift my spirit up, such indescribable feeling. Her smell is the best ever that I can imagine. She tastes like a new life, a new beginning.

We are on the rooftop at that time. No body is there except both of us. I can hear the noise of the jeep from the highway. But I continue watching her while she is sleeping. She is a new life for me when I saw her. Now I experienced being like a mother for a moment. Having an angel in your arms was a wonderful experience. I appreciate more the beauty of life.

I value life more than ever before because I know, I am not here forever. I cared more especially to my niece that is so helpless. She is my new guide and my new inspiration to pursue and value life. Since, that moment, like a moment of enlightenment. I become a better individual. I become more mature and more aware of others need. There are lives outside our individual’s life that really need us.

And here I am, continue dreaming for the good life that someday I could share to her. This gives me strength that an inspiration from heaven will touch in an unexpected and unconventional way.  Be willing to accept such special gift.